Back in 1975 when i was studying social work, i had my first field placement at the institute of mental health.  it was a creepy collection of neglected gothic buildings that housed indigent mentally ill patients.  They were warehoused away and forgotten.  i was assigned three patients and i became especially attached to two of them.  One a 72 year old ex alcoholic had been sent there after a bar brawl in which his right ear was cut off.  The other was a gentle soul

who was labelled developmentally disabled because his IQ was 70.  i spent endless hours listening to these men reminisce about their lives before they were institutionalized.  i came to enjoy visiting with both of them.  The semester ended right before Christmas and when asked them what kind of going away present they would like one asked me to wear my denim mini skirt and the other said, "just come and say goodbye."  The evening of that last day i sat in my supervisor's office crying.  When he asked what i was worried about i said something about crying not being grown up and professional (i had just turned 20)  He looked me in the eye and said, "if it doesn't hurt to say goodbye you never really said hello."  To an immature 20 year old student, that seemed the most profound piece of advice i'd ever heard. Fast forward to June 2014 where i just had to say good by to some of the most wonderful kindergarten children i have ever taught. To prepare for our graduation ceremony, i sit down at my desktop to put a slideshow of this past kindergarten year to music.  Before starting, i check my emails and open one from a priest who has help 

felix and me thru the most tumultuous two years of our lives.  In this email the priest tells us he is being transferred out of our parish.  As i sat that morning and synchronized the kindergarten slide show to The Time of Your Life by Green Day, i began to sob.  The words that social work supervisor said rang in my ears……..if it doesn't hurt to say goodbye you never really said hello.